Jan202012

I write because…

I write because…. when the ink scars the virgin paper, it leaves in a mark proclaiming my existence. A mark that wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for me. A mark that tells everyone that I have something to say, and that it will try to stand the test of time. A mark that is an extension of who I am. A mark that is me… on paper.

I write because… words have an endearing quality of making one feel happiness, anger, love, fear, hate, passion, pain, suffering & magic. Words can draw tears and command a smile. Words can end wars, fulfill dreams and make you fall in love. Words can satisfy our deepest desires and bring forth our worst nightmares.

I write because… an honest piece of writing contains more passion than you can imagine. An honest piece of writing can set you free, vanquish your demons, provide you justice and that solace you have always seeked. An honest piece of writing can justify your existence and take away from you the fear of death.

I write because… how else can we connect, if it wasn’t for this piece of writing. How else can we have for this moment of absolute honesty between us, when the rituals of the world demands we wear masks. How else can I truly touch your soul… How can I wait for the perfect evening when there is a silent breeze and a pregnant pause between us that says, “tell me your story”. A moment when your eyes says “I want to know who you are”…
I write because… that moment doesn’t come every day. I write because… when I write honestly and without fear, I say what I would have said in that moment…

I write because… if I didn’t write my soul wouldn’t be able to bear this aberration of a life. I write, because I cant imagine a life without writing…

Jan12012

Validation

This award winning short film almost had me in tears. Its just brilliant do watch it!

Dec312011

2011 – In Moments

2011 was a transitional year for me. A year in which I made some big decisions, a year in which I saw myself in new light, a year full of choices I really didn’t want to make, a year of adventure, of new friends, of strengthening some relationships, re-evaluating others, a year of winning some hearts and breaking some, a year of rediscovering where my passion lied and finally, 2011 was an year I invested in myself…

2011, for me was about action; about throwing caution to the wind and taking the leap I always wanted to but never got around to. In many ways most of my year revolved around the monthly projects I did during the year.

Last year I wrote and directed my first full length play. The experience was a bitter sweet one but it taught me a lot about myself and people around me. It was the first time I took upon a major responsibility and saw it thru. During the year I worked actively on theater, including acting in another play at the end of the year. An experience that literally gave me wings and a sort of happiness that I had never felt before.

Over the past year, I switched jobs. I moved on from a job that, I believed for four years was the one I would retire at. The decision and the few months after it was one of the worst phases of my life and despite all the pain and heartbreak I now believe it was an experience I had to go through. I remember that in my most emotional moments describing the decision to a close friend as a divorce… I couldnt have explained it any better.

In the last 12 months, my heart has its own story to tell. A story of losing hope and self confidence. A story that thankfully ends with rediscovering my self in the eyes of a muse that saw something in me that I had ignored for too long. Then there was vindication, to my approach; a realization that maybe I wasn’t that wrong all along.

I walked the quiet streets of Kalimpong once again in 2011, my second favorite place in the world after Bangalore. I embraced the Himalayas once more and reveled in the warmth that the wise old mountains provided. I sat in a cozy coffee shop in the middle of pondicherry having breakfast with people I loved. I bit into delicious pizzas near Auroville trying very hard to check out the girl at the counter who in her quiet charm had just stolen my heart. I rested on a hammock in the banks of the river Kaveri discussing the years gone by with departing friends.

2011 was a year full of life. My nephew was born into this world and my niece turned two. Having two kids at home makes the world infinitely beautiful. There is no prize in the world comparable to the genuine smile my nephew gives me when he sees me.

In 2011, I took over 13000 photos with my camera. I took photos for over 7 plays, even tried shooting a short film with my camera and did a portfolio for a friend (which helped him win a modeling assignment). I participated in a couple of photography challenges and saw the first of my photographs in the newspapers(mostly for plays). Considering I only had my camera for a year (bought it last Christmas), I can safely say I am making good use of it :)

2011 was also a year to learn what I always wanted but couldnt get time for. I tried my hand at playing the violin, something I want to persue in 2012 too. I did a yoga course and even got back to some engineering education towards the end of the year.

In 2011, I wrote about 100 blog posts, redesigned my website, wrote a few short pieces (including one which is being currently adapted to a play) and almost read a few books too :D

Honestly, looking back I am a bit saddened that 2011 is almost done and dusted but I shouldn’t really be complaining about it…

That will do, 2011; That will do :)

Dec292011

All This Silliness of Busyness…

I hate being busy but unfortunately I am. I have always been proud of how many different things I can do in a day but off-late the realization is growing inside me that I have crossed the threshold of a satisfying day and slowly creeped towards the busy person lifestyle.

I have always performed better when I handled multiple events simultaneously and that was the idea behind the whole “Project of the Month” project this year. But seems like I found my true limits towards the end of the year.

My schedule for most of November and at-least half of December included daily events like: Yoga class, Theater, A Photography Challenge & the AI Class. After a while things started getting to me. I was on the absolute edge with time management and all I wanted to do was to go home and get a good night’s sleep.

The climax of it all happened on the second day of my play. That day I spent four hours in the morning writing the final exam of the AI Class and then rushed to the venue to get prepared for my play. Easily one of the most stressful days of my adult life.

I was recently speaking to a friend who asked me how I got time to fit in so many things into my day. While the question flattered me, the truth is I have been over exerting myself for just too long. It was around this time I decided to not take a step back and relax.

After a while of juggling too many things I have learnt that quality is the first to suffer. While I can tick off many items from the list of things I wanted to do, I genuinely feel a little sad that I couldnt do it to the best of my ability. Thats when you really wonder if all this silliness is worth it.

One of my resolutions(if you can call it that) for 2012 is to backoff from the gas pedal and absorb the beautiful scenery that the journey of life is throwing my way. I figure that I wont be traveling that fast but there is more to life than just running by it.

Dec242011

Course on AI – Project Nov ’11

This entry is part 10 of 10 in the series Project 2011

For my project for the month of November, I decided to go a little theoretical :) I signed up for this course on the Introduction to Artificial Intelligence. I have always been amazed by probability and how intelligent systems get to efficient solutions, and this course gave me a good chance to get back to something that excited me a lot back in college.

Conducted in association with Stanford Engineering, the AI Class was presided over by Sebastian Thrun & Peter Norvig, both geniuses in the world of AI. The two month course was one of the path breaking online courses that were aimed at redefining online education.

Having completed the course I can safely say it was one of the finest courses that I have ever attended and the way it was organized kept me both on the edge with anticipation and fun.

Result wise I did a far better job than I originally thought I would but the true success for me was rediscovering that I still had it in me to sit down and learn something that was non trivial and truly interested me.

Cheers to the AI Class team :)