There are moments in life you totally dread re-experiencing, because you know that the moment will come by and go… and with it every thought that follows will already be engaged in battle. Battle between answers and a moment of peace. I know exactly what the thoughts are going to result in, like an scientific expression which is perfect but deep down you know there is something wrong and yet you cant point to it. But the most painful part is that you know deep down that this is important… more important than every thing you hv done in your entire life combined. And then suddenly you are aware… Aware of everything, your lungs expanding, sound waves hitting your eardrums and blood rushing to your head indicating that a headache is just around the corner.

You can be sitting in a busy room filled with ppl and yet you know nothing happening here will ever matter, you close your eyes and you can hear the ocean around you, for miles and you are sitting on a boat without oars or a compass. You can open your eyes get up and scream at the top of your voice but nobody will listen… they just dont get the bigger picture. Then there are desperate moments where you accept any answer just to give your mind a rest and so that you can breathe in a lung full of air and justify it…

Those Dreaded Thoughts…