Not Who I Am…

“I could have done that too, but you know thats not who I am”, he said still staring at what was happening across the room.
“Well then, who are you?”
He turned and looked at me “You know”
“I don’t”
His face stiffened for a moment and he looked away, dismissing “I might not be able to tell you who I am right now but I can tell you who I’m not… I’m not a guy that does that”.
“Why not?”
“Whats wrong with you today?”

Someone once told me that its easier to figure out who we aren’t than to put in the effort of figure out who we are. They said it was the lazy way to live life. Find something hard to do, throw it in that category. Find something slightly different than the norm, throw it in. Find something a little too challenging, throw it in, I’m smarter than that… besides thats not who I am.

Most people go with their gut when they have to determine if they have to do something new. Their gut goes with its primary aim, survival. Anything too unpredictable and “Its not who I am” is the easy way out.

Far too many times Ive told myself that, but now whenever I do, I wonder if I’m using a small event to define who I am… What if I was that sort of person? And then for a moment I imagine a world where I am exactly who I am but I do that which seems impossibly me right now… Usually, it ain’t too bad a world to live it…