Its been over a month since my 27th birthday and there is a good reason why I didn’t write about it till now….
Every year I take time to write about how the day went and about my hopes for the year ahead, but this time things were different.

Don’t get me wrong, I spent the day surrounded by people that I love and am loved by. They made the day possibly the finest in recent memory but unfortunately the day occurred during a time when celebrating was the last thing in my mind.

In the last couple of months or so, life has been an amazing roller coaster ride. With moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life, with feelings that I had to endure and with decisions I wish I never had to make.

If I were to divide up my life into 3-4 important sections and label life as an aggregation of them. These individual pieces would probably define me as a person, a professional, a friend and everything else that represents me… Life would be perfect if all these pieces, in the grand scheme of things were in the right place. Even if one was out of place, it would be tough on me but having the assurance that the rest were fine I could work on the unrest in my life.

But life in its crazy irony of teaching me my lessons, wanted to see how bad I could take it. In a swift week everything went from picture perfect to blaring sirens. Its amazing how we take most things in life for-granted; its only when we put a spotlight on a relationship that its true capacity to survive is seen.

I for a multitude of reasons I cannot give details about what these incidents were that triggered the unrest but I can safely say that this period has easily been the toughest of my life yet.

One month back things were at their very worst. I had literally hit rock bottom; my self confidence was at an all time low and fear at an all time high. At this grand moment, life decided to throw me a life jacket.

I received an email from a dear friend of mine. Reading that letter I was close to tears. In the letter, my friend spoke about an event in his life about a year back when he had faced the toughest crisis of his life. He spoke about what he learnt about life from the incident and about how he fought back to a position in life that made him both satisfied and happy.

The clincher was the part of the letter that included me. He had talked about how much my words and advice had influenced him during this time. I was one of the few people he had taken into confidence to talk about his troubles. He spoke about how he changed his core outlook to life and how much happiness that had brought him .

Its odd that when you are in a crisis its hard to get your best decisions and choices. Its ironic that when you need your very best, you are left handicapped. In the last couple of months, I have had really bad days, bad days, good days and even a few great days. I have had some days with supreme confidence in my ability and self; And have had some days with absolutely no confidence what so ever. I have lost trust in a few people and deeply fear that some have lost trust in me…

But the greatest realization has been that, everybody has bad times in their lives. And its only at these times that we can truly discover who we are and what we are capable of…

This period of my life has given me a lot of reasons to hate a lot of people in my life. But this is where my greatest success has been; No matter what I take away from this page of my life, I will be forever thankfully for not giving way to hating. I have learnt to forgive and move on. Oddly sometimes its toughest to forgive yourself…

Two pieces of poetry have been on my mind during this period. One comes from the inspiring poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling and the lines that I love are:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

The second piece of literature gave me strength… These were lines from the beautiful song “Main Zindagi Ka Saath” sung by the legendary Mohd. Rafi in the movie “Hum Dono“.

Maein Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udata Chala Gaya

Barbadiyon Ka Shok Manana Fizul Tha
Barbadiyon Ka Jashan Manata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

Jo Mil Gaya Usi Ko Muqaddar Samajh Liya
Jo Kho Gaya Maein Usko Bhulata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

Gham Aur Khushi Mein Farq Na Mehsoos Ho Jahan
Maein Dil Ko Us Muqaam Pe Laata Chala Gaya
Har Fikar Ko Dhuen Mein Udaata Chala Gaya

Its amazing how many times in the last few weeks I have lost all confidence in myself only to see people around me instill it back in me. It was so easy to quit and give up but it was the wonderful people that surrounded me that made me keep pushing ahead.

So thats how my 28th year began… cant say I feel to bad for it; Coz I know that ‘this too shall pass’ :)