Learning to say ‘No’

One of the things I have always found really hard to do is to say “No”. I might as well have made this song my theme song :P

Its actually got more to do with me getting invited to hangout or some party or event. Most of the times I would have done a lot of traveling or would have been running around that day. In that light the relaxation part of the event looks a lot less relaxing.

Earlier I would almost always juggle things around and manage to be everywhere somehow. This I have realized is a really bad way of handling things, it might workout for that day but is a killer in the long run.

So as a revamp I off late am a little more careful assessing the pros and cons of saying ‘Yes I will be there’. It does end up disappointing a few people (esp when I misread the cons) but that is almost always for a short time. I eventually end up making up for it down the line.

On the positive side it has helped me to be a bit more relaxed wrt setting a time table for things to be done. Earlier it was common for me to have a plan doing about 20 different things in a couple of hours or driving long distances and mentally assessing which route would save me 5 min(mostly based on traffic signals). Not to mention the effect it had on my punctuality. Now I am very clear wrt the time I can make a place, I make it a point to let people know well in advance that I am going to be late.

The best thing about it so far has been the time I have had for myself. A long time back I used to spend a part of my day pondering and thinking about random things. Doing that did wonders for my writing. When I was terribly busy I missed that part of my day, lately things have gotten better but there is still a far way to go.

I found this beautiful quote a while back

A ‘No’ uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ‘Yes’ merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.