The happiness quotient of this blog is going to drop a few notches for a while…

There is so much that I wanted to say about the past one month… Either I couldn’t find the right words or at times wondered if not saying anything would help. The fact is that the past month has probably been the saddest I have had in years… actually the saddest in all my memory.

I have some idea of the reason, a common epicenter for all my ennui… But deep down I know its not directly related to one issue.

There is that overwhelming feeling of drifting through space. A feeling that just does not go away, a feeling that drives you to just watch time go by and not respond to it.

Sometimes the hollowness of it all hits you and you just feel lonely. It doesn’t matter if you are in a crowded busy place, with strangers or with people you know, you just feel as if you are alone on a planet.

In the past few years I have always known what I wanted to do and knew very well the path I would walk on, for the first time in years I am a wanderer, a nomad in a desert with no end and I dont like it.

In all the loneliness I found peace in two sources. One was poetry, something about profound thinking that made me feel smothered and brought back sanity into my thoughts. The other was a voice from an unlikely source that made me if only for a few minutes forget my worries.

Ironically I know very well that I need to walk thru this darkness for a bit. As Harvey Dent puts it best in The Dark Knight “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.”