I know that I should not be the one saying this but generally I am a nice guy. I dont get angry easily, my friends can give testimony to that. I always try hard to find solutions that is acceptable to the group… I am not saying this coz it makes me feel better, on the contrary I am saying this coz I have been pretty miserable since last evening.
I have never seen myself as a leader. I generally shy away from responsibility, reason being simply that its a fact that I am not an authoritative figure. I have this philosophy that things will get done by someone if they are capable of doing it and want to do it. Generally even when I am trying to explain something to a peer I always try to help them figure it out rather than teach them to take my word for it.
I never faced a situation where someone would look at my methods and take it as my weakness. Just coz I try to find a way to make things work rather than to scream at someone doesn’t mean that I can be stomped on and taken advantage of.
It was a very painful lesson in ethics, working and people for me. One that I wont forget easily. I have realized that I need to change, that when the situation demands I need to step away from my philosophy and get my point across.
A part of me is really depressed with this realization actually. I guess, its like when a kid is told there is no Santa. Suddenly the world seems like a much more crueler place.