Says it all

Btw those last 5 min in Lost Season 3 finale was just too brilliant for words. It took me 2 days to get over the rush

Mars and Venus.

We had decided to catch this play yesterday at Rangashankara and considering I always saw plays on weekdays I was not prepared for the rush that happens on sundays… Swetha and I arrived to the theater about an hour before the play and realized that we had very little chances of getting the tickets. They were only giving tickets to ppl who had booked earlier and we put down our name in the waiting list in case someone cancelled or did not show up… About 30 min later we waited in bated breath for our name to be called, many had not showed up to collect their tickets. We were one of the last to get the tickets and boy was the tension worth it .

The play was arguably one of the best plays I hv ever seen. “Chapter Two” was produced by Evam and is the story of Two people one a recent widower and the other a recent divorcee who find love “again”.

The brilliance of the play was not just the acting which was flawless(so good it attracted a standing ovation after the performance) it was the innovation and the magic they created… There were parts where they used a member carefully placed in the audience to shot timelines(things like “2 weeks later” etc.). The sudden darkness on the stage and the spotlight switching to the member in the audience was clearly applauded.

The story goes thru the stressing phase of finding a date and having one less disastrous than the previous and then the part of courting and perils of a wedding… The two lead char are “matched” thanks to a concerned brother and friend who cant see their loved one alone. The phone calls which play and intriguing part of the play are well enacted and leave little of doubt on what is happening…

The actors were truly in a class of their own in dialog delivery and their stage presence was truly ominous. The set looked brilliant and the music was simply perfect.

All in all this was one play I would hv hated to miss… Thank god we got the tickets…

Official website of Evam Their Blog

Hemanth’s review of the play: Chapter Two

The char in the soap looked villanous and once they look villanous they almost certainly are the negative lead in the show… she had a gun to her hand and fired trice (or 4 times) and the next scene you hv another char collapsing to the ground with her hand clenched to her stomach… The weird thing was she had only one gun shot on her… I started hysterically laughing, I mean she must hv been a classic shot to hit the same spot trice… My dad watching this added ya this is how they get all the shooting gold in the commonwealth games. I was laughing so hard I could hardly eat.

The thing got better by the minute… The next sequence showed the culprit absconding and the female who was shot was now resting her head on her mom’s lap. The funny part here was there was a huge crowd of ppl around yet nobody called the ambulance or whatever… they just stood there doing guess what… “crying”. I was like wtf, she is not dead yet guys, hv you heard of a place called a hospital. The next scene the dad is there and he come just in time to say bye to his beloved daughter and he comes in a “car”(now i notice a bunch of cars including the one driven by the victim moments before are just a few feet away). The girl kicks the bucket and ppl go on about how unjust the world is…

I’m so amazed on how dumb the entertainment industry takes it audience to be… I mean there must be some decent writers out there who can spend 30 min thinking about if the sequence they just wrote is logical or not… I guess sadly the audience wont mind and the writers will get away writing more crap.

If you remember any sequences on tv that was this dumb or even worse drop in a comment… I can do with a dose of laughter now and then

John walked into the back room and said, “There’s a bloody fellow out there who wants to buy only half a kilo of butter.” As he finished saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “And this gentleman wants to buy the other half.”

The manager finished the deal and later said to John, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet, and I like it a lot. Which place are you from?”

John replied, “I’m from Mexico, sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Mexico?” asked the manager.
John replied, “They’re all just prostitutes and soccer players up there.”
“My wife is from Mexico,” the manager said.

John replied, “Which team did she play for?”

——-

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, ” why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?”.

“We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth”, she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?”

The old lady replied, “We just love the chocolate around them.”

———-

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now. The man should be here soon.”

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning, Ma’am”, he said, “I’ve come to…”

“Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”
“Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did youknow babies are my specialty?”
“Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.”

After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”
“Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“My, that’s a lot!” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”
“Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said. “Oh my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”
“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?” said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
“Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um… equipment?”
“It’s true, Ma’am, yes. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”
“Tripod?”
“Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in my hand for too long.”
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted…

1. (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back) “You’re under arrest!” (For what?) “For stealing my heart.”
2. Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?
3. Are your legs tired? ( girl: Why?) because you have been running through my mind all day!
4. “I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?”
5. Can you give me directions to your heart? I’ve seemed to have lost myself in your eyes
6. (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt, jacket, etc.) She would say,” What are doing”
Respond, “Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven.”
7. (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.) “I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are.”
8. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
9. Walk up to a guy and say: “Are you from Greece?” “No” he answers. “Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece ”
10. GEE I FEEL LIKE RICHARD GERE STANDING BESIDE YOU ………… PRETTY WOMEN
11. I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek, and die on your lips.
12. Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
13. Are you lost? … ’cause it’s so strange to see an angel so far from heaven.
14. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
15. What’s that in your eye? Oh…it’s a sparkle.
16. Do you have a map? I just got lost in your eyes.
17. You can forget about going to heaven because it’s sin to look that good.
18. If I had eleven roses and you, I’d have a dozen.
19.”You may be one person for the world but for one person you just might be the world”
20.”The spaces between your fingers are meant for the other to fill in”

Favourite ones: 5, 13, 17, 20
Laughed at: 1, 11

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”

“Uh…yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied.

“Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see,

I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll Give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.”

“Wow, that’s great!” the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out,

“I’d like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life.”

“No problem,” said the genie. “You’ve got it, it’s the least I can do. And I’ll guarantee you a long, healthy life!”

“And now you, young lady, what do you want?” the genie asked. “I’d like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world,” she said.

“Consider it done,” the genie said. “And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!”

“And now,” the couple asked in unison, “what’s your wish, genie?”

” Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle and haven’t been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.”

The husband looked at his wife and said, “Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?”

She mul! led it over for a few moments and said, “You know, you’re right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn’t mind, but what about you, honey?”

“You know I love you sweetheart,” said the husband.

“I’d do the same for you!” So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.

After about three hours of non-stop fun, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, “How old are you and your husband?”

“Why, we’re both 35,” she responded breathlessly.

“Really?! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?”

—–***——

One fat guy goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone’s weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He’s standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying “If you catch me, I’m yours.”

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he’s running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he’s about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.

He’s back on the street and starts to think.
“Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time…”

So he races back to the gym and says, “I want to lose 20 more kg.”
“No problem,” says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he’s standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.

“If I catch you, you’re mine.”

Presenting Popeye…

Now introducing Popeye’s Mom

So without further ado…

5) Doc says “Hope you got insurance…”
This does not qualify if he sells insurance too

4) Doc looks at you and says “Hello X, the regular”
What am I in a bar???

3) Doc says “You are putting my children through college”
Remember funding children’s education is a good thing , and the more angry you get the more money you are giving away

2) Reciptionist at the Docs office says “Its alrite Mr. X, I know ur credit card number by heart”
This is a really bad sign provided u are dating her, in which case its a really really bad sign

1) Doc does the basic check up and when its time for his diagnosis looks at you and pauses (trying to think of the right words)
Oh oh… Houston we have a problem.

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says:
“He’s very rich. Marry him.” - That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say:
“Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.” - That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie,
you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,
pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:
“By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?” - That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says:
“You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
- That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say:
“I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband.
- That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say
anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?”
and she goes with him - That’s competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and befo re you say:
“I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. - That’s restriction for entering new markets

I recently had a short stint with the driving school again. I got my car driving licence a few years back and had hardly touched my car since so my skill level was near amatuer again (well i guess the same cannot be said for riding a bike and driving a car.) This time around though I did not need to go thru the inital flusturation… but wanted to write this entry for those few weeks a few years back, I spent learning to handle the car.

5) Is the car actually running (These new cars are so damn quiet its hard to know if they are running)

4) Im going to meet with an accident… Im going to meet with an accident… Im going to meet with an accident…

3) Damn these cars and two wheelers they drive as if they own the road…

2) Is that guy honking at me?

1) Which gear am I on now?