That day as we checked and double checked, panicked and told others not to panic, I was standing on the stage looking at the empty chairs we were hoping would be filled the next day and a finite piece of my past rushed back to me. This was the same place I had performed for the first time, almost 2 years ago.

Ironically it seemed apt that I was performing at this place. Almost a week before the preform ace I had decided to take a long break from theater. The last month or so had been hard and I was slowly beginning to realize how much I had ignored other parts of my life, I was really looking forward for this break… In ways this added to the magic of it all, there is an amazing bond between the actor and the stage which is hard to explain. Sometimes you just ‘need’ the stage in your performance and it becomes a part of the performance.

As the time drew closer, the nostalgia was building. It felt as though things were falling into place… There was so much happening everywhere that it was hard to keep track of things. The number of people who had volunteered was shockingly large and their dedication was inspirational. That had to be the biggest takeaway from this experience. I truly understood the meaning of the term “selflessness” in those few days.

Once the play started things were happening in fast forward, actors entering and exiting the stage. Laughter and claps echoed at regular intervals… Soon it was time for me to get on stage… Once you are on stage, time just seems to fly… Before you know it the play is over and the curtain call is happening.

When you look back at how much blood and sweat was put into that play, it makes you wonder if you could again be a part of something so amazing. I don’t know if the play was really good or if we could have done better (the audience did like it ) but one thing that was definitely true was that it was probably impossible to have put in a better combined effort than what we managed for those special evenings.

- Finishing Lines… American Beauty

When I first watched American Beauty it was on a television movie channel. I had heard so much about it and wanted to know what it was about. What impressed me then the most was the ending of the film… that line(above quote) struck a chord with me… Far away from understanding the movie, back then I thought it was an above average movie. Blame it mostly on the overly censored movie channels (it was the clipping of what was considered ‘bad language’ that bothered me more than the nudity) and the ad breaks that just ruined the flow of the movie.

What significantly drove me to rediscover the movie almost a decade after i first watched it was a realization of sorts. A close friend had loved the movie back when we were in college. This is not a very significant thing… usually. The thing is this friend went on to pursue a career in film making. He had made a bunch of short films and last I spoke to him was working on a bigger film. The idea that a movie could drive someone to choose his career was quiet fascinating… Of course I had to watch the movie again… this time with my total undivided attention.

There are a few movies that I wished I had discovered earlier in my life, American Beauty tops the list. There is so many little amazing things in the movie that could so easily be lost within the main plot, it speaks volumes of the quality of the screenplay and the director that these are so well brought out. The acting is top class and the casting brilliant.

American Beauty swept most of the awards for the year of its release(1999). Kevin Spacey won the Best Actor Oscar for his flawless portrayal of Lester Burnham.

Honestly there is just too much to take home with you after the movie and its that ability of the movie that truly won hearts. There is so much magic in the subtlety of this movie and its profound thoughts that it just takes your breath away. If you haven’t already watched this movie… Please do.

The waves have a way of making you feel like a giant and dwarf at the same time… I have rarely stood at the beach and have not been humbled by the sea.

Ps: The only regret this time was that the sky was cloudy and I could not see any stars… That would have made the moment perfect.

I have some idea of the reason, a common epicenter for all my ennui… But deep down I know its not directly related to one issue.

There is that overwhelming feeling of drifting through space. A feeling that just does not go away, a feeling that drives you to just watch time go by and not respond to it.

Sometimes the hollowness of it all hits you and you just feel lonely. It doesn’t matter if you are in a crowded busy place, with strangers or with people you know, you just feel as if you are alone on a planet.

In the past few years I have always known what I wanted to do and knew very well the path I would walk on, for the first time in years I am a wanderer, a nomad in a desert with no end and I dont like it.

In all the loneliness I found peace in two sources. One was poetry, something about profound thinking that made me feel smothered and brought back sanity into my thoughts. The other was a voice from an unlikely source that made me if only for a few minutes forget my worries.

Ironically I know very well that I need to walk thru this darkness for a bit. As Harvey Dent puts it best in The Dark Knight “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.”

When I first saw the promos of “Jaane Tu… Ya Jaane Na” with the short version of ‘Kabhi Kabhi Aditi’, I thought here is one movie that is trying the “Pyar Mein Kabhi Kabhi” formula. For people who have never heard of PMKK, it was this young adult movie that came out about half a decade ago, launching a bunch of young actors and filling the radio waves with some amazing music(’Woh Pehli Baar’ and ‘Musu Musu’ are still my favorites). Guess what I was right… The question (after a week or so of the release) though is why did PMKK flop while Jaane Tu was a big hit?

My next contact point to Jaane Tu came with the music… I simply loved the soundtrack! AR Rehman was again brilliant but what really was amazing was the lyrics. So I decided to do some background work and find out about the lyricist… It turns out Abbas Tyrewala was also the director and writer of the movie!!! Now I really wanted to watch the movie! I had told a friend a while back that if the movie and the lyrics were written by the same person and the lyrics was good, almost always the story and writing would be good too.

Now to the actual review…

The Good things about this movie:
* Writing/Music - 10 min into the movie I knew that this movie was good. The writing is so good in this movie that I feel this can be easily used as the benchmark for writing an entertaining movie. The opening was perfect, the characters very well thought out(at least the ones that mattered). The comedy was really good, not the usual amalgamation of slapstick and one liners fitted into the script. The dialogs were smart and young, thats what holds you. Even in situations were we knew what would happen, like the scenes towards the end where the lead is jailed and the airport climax… Basically that meant there wasn’t a point in the movie you could let your guard down and say nothing interesting is happening.

That my friends is a sign of really good writing

* Genelia D’Souza - Eyes, thats all I could think of when I saw her. Genelia is seasoned south indian actor who knows she is good. Her amazingly expressive eyes are brilliantly used in the movie and she easily out shines every other actor she shared the screen with.

* Comedy - Very well placed, some of the characters are so well woven into the movie that their very presence is funny. The inspector and the horse riding bad/good guys for example.

* Veteran Actors - All the veteran actors were perfectly cast and they fit into this romantic love story perfectly.

What is worth watching out for is the timing of scenes in the movie… This movie is a perfect example of setting up the audience for a twist or a joke(almost always in a short time frame).

Finally, Imran… I am writing about him only coz of the craze that has suddenly started on him. Firstly the acting from his side was ok, he had his moments where he was really good, for example the scene in the rain where he confronts Meghana and asks her to ‘get real’ was really good. On the other hand he was very ordinary in many scenes. Fortunately for him this role suited him perfectly, doubt he had to do a lot of work to get into that specific character. Personally i will wait for at least a couple more movies before judging his capability.

All in all this is a fun movie and if you like smiling for a while you should watch this one.

Khudha Jaane - K.K & Shilpa Rao - Bachna Ae Haseeno

Bakhuda Tumhi Ho - Atif Aslam & Alka Yagnik - Kismat Konnection
- This one has the feel of ‘Tum Se Hi’ plus the magic of Atif Aslam’s voice

Oddly a lot of things happened to me in the past week that changed me profoundly… I know those are pretty big words but they are not exaggerated. Anyway there is a decent backlog of posts I have to make, some were written almost a week back and not published online. My last post for example was written on 18th… So, this might be a busy place for a bit

(Havent done a translation in a long time… But thats not going to stop me )

Translation:
The truth is the fault lies within me,
For I tried to touch the moon,
Asked for the sky on the ground,
Wished the flowers to blossom on stone,
Searched for fragrance in the thorns,
Desired for fire to cool me,
Seeked warmth from snow,
Hoped that the dream I saw became true,
For this I had to receive my punishment.
The truth is the fault lies within me…

There are moments when truth of those lines hits you and you realize that you are only human.

This post is dedicated to Satish, who could have wished for anything in the world but wanted this. This my way of showing the world that some wishes do come true

Me: Life changes doesn’t it, after a while priorities change… people change. Its just unfortunate that things don’t stand still and remain the way you like it.

Him: So what changed? Do you think we have changed and in the process havent seen what it was doing to him?
Me: I dont know man… Someone once told me that loneliness has the amazing ability to change people and their priorities. Sometimes its a small minute change that is required that has so much of an effect to your thoughts and your action.
Him: You think he is feeling lonely?
Me: Well… sometimes you can be with the best of your friends having a great time… People around you who love you but still you can feel like the only person on the planet. Its a feeling that is hard to explain…
Him: Alone? You think so?
Me: Well not exactly alone, I mean you have people around you who care and all but… its more like a person who understands a specific feeling inside you, whome you dont have to say a word and yet you have conveyed all you want or someone with whome when you speak you just forget time and worries and fears.
Him: I am worried for him man.
Me: These things have a way of resolving itself man. Frankly we might be reading the situation all wrong… All in all I just hope he doesn’t do anything hastily.
Him: Hastily?
Me: Yep, these situations tends to make people jump the gun. As long as he is level headed and knows that things will fall in place he is fine.
Him: I think its got more to do with change man.
Me: Change?
Him: Yeah, I think we all have changed man. Things were not the way they were about a year back. There is nothing wrong in it changing but maybe none of us noticed that we were changing. You know, humans are sometimes so adaptable that they dont even know that they have changed to suit a situation.
Me: Yeah man, change can be a difficult sometimes. But he will come around man, it will take a while but he will come around.

- Deism (Wikipedia)

So what makes me talk about an odd philosophical concept like Deism all of a sudden… Well I was introduced to the word and its meaning in Sophie’s World a couple of days ago. I say introduced to the word (and not concept) coz… you wont believe this… I wrote a short story a couple of years ago based on the the very same concept!!!

The story: The Truth
Abstract: A convicted scientist tells the story of his discovery about the universe and the earth and how it destroyed his life…

Cant believe I wrote it when I was 19

Ps: All this makes me miss writing short stories… I should seriously get back to my passion.

This movie at different moments had me shocked, disturbed, enraged, appalled, smiling, impressed and enlightened… It is simply one the best (english) movies to have come out of the subcontinent. I would rate it even higher than “Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi”. Everything is close to perfect, the acting, the writing, the background score, the screenplay and the music… Oh God! The music is beyond brilliant!!!!

Watch this movie!