New Sense

Sometimes, there are moments when I feel extraordinarily pleasant about being in a situation. Sometimes, these situations seem too good to be true, they make me wonder if I am in a dream and am going to rudely wake up or if I am the subject of a prank.

Sometimes, I know deep down that the moment is genuine and yet there is a part of me holding me down, telling me in a whisper ‘dont get carried away’. Yet it is so hard not to feel happy about it and so hard not to give yourself a pat on the back and tell yourself “that was good”.

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The one thing that is common between my sister, my cousins and me is that we all joined school a year earlier than most children. In India (atleast in the mid 80s) children joined school when they were three years old, so frankly I have no idea why my parents decided to usher me into my initial schooling when I was two. Oddly that one decision dictated a lot about what sort of friends and peers I would have for the rest of my life…
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I dont know of a better way to start talking about the last twenty five years of my life, than to talk about the one thing that has been with me for almost every single moment of that time…

What would you say if I ask you “who are you?” Most people to whom I have asked the truly philosophical question, have always chosen to respond with a similar answer… Their name.

My parents have always been strong believers in astrology… From the moment I was born one of their biggest concerns was to know what my future held for me and how to improve it. Even now, twenty five years later they jump at the first opportunity to ask questions to respected astrologers(not those fancy guys that come on tv) about how my current “time” is.

Apparently the time and place of my birth sort of determined my name(this procedure is extremely common in my family). Under the consultation of an astrologer who determined the mathematical positions of the planets at the time of my birth, my name had to start with the syllable “Cha”.
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I have always wanted to write my autobiography. It doesn’t matter if it ever got published or if anyone other than me ever read it… What matters to me is to write it, to do that journey back in my mind to places I had been, scenes I had seen, people I had met and happiness I had shared.

The last four years of my life has been well documented thanks to this blog and my writings in my personal journal and at other places, but its the time before that where things are hazy. I have very little memories about my childhood… a few special days, photos that recreate scenes that I recognize… but its no where near enough.

My teenage years have lots of important and special memories, People and places that cannot be separated from who I was, what I wanted to be and what I became… Then my recent past, stronger and sweeter memories… Events that if I close my eyes I can feel them happening right then and there…

There is a lot about the last 25 years that are truly special to me. I have never mentioned those events and people in my blog or my writings. So I have decided to write this series of posts which talk about these 25 years of my life.

This has probably been done before but I am going to try something different. The mind you see does not sort things according to chronological order, it has this awesome tagging system that links events together. Each post will be about a common theme and my experiences about that theme… in chronological order.

Now a lot of the things I mention here will be deeply personal, so not all posts will be available publicly. My Lj friends will have the benefit of seeing most of these posts and even fewer will have access to all of the posts. Sorry guys but I need to do this as a few of things I mention will be about people who are probably going to be reading my blog…

So here is to a new beginning… right back from square one…

Ps: If you are not an LJ friend and want access to my personal posts, mail me

What is your greatest fear?

I was 19 when that question was stuck in my head. Looking at in plainly it didn’t seem like a hard to answer. For some people it is death, for some it is insects and for some public speaking (that always reminds me of this Seinfeld Quote)… But what was the greatest fear for anyone. Ofcourse everybody didn’t have exactly one thing/event/whatever that scared them the most, it varied from person to person. I was hell bent on discovering the common thread that held them all together. Eventually I did find the answer.
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