Exorcising My Demons…
March 24, 2006 12:19 pmI saw an old friend yesterday… Not seen her in like 8 months and all of a sudden she was walking past me… I was so surprised to see her that I was finishing a call and just stood there. I’m sure she saw me and she knew that I saw her but she just went past.
Things didn’t end on a right footing the last time we spoke and I never called her again or tried to reach her, save one email saying “happy birthday” a few months ago. The last mutual interaction made it clear to me that she was angry with me and I wont divulge into the reasons.
Its weird how you see someone from your past and almost every conversation you had with them happens again in ur mind… you then remember your best and worst moments and relive those old days again…
She was the one who inspired me to put faith in talking in relationships actually. I mean I hv seen close to the worst of what can happen and that made me realize that when u care for someone you call them back and tell them whats bothering you. Which is ironic coz all i need to do was call her and say something… anything and I didn’t.
I’m not sure I particularly enjoyed the reunion but I had expected it to happen sometime(we live in the same city for god sake… (for many reasons)we would eventually bump into each other) And then after seeing her again and thinking, is that her… yes its her… did she see me… ya she did, I was talking loudly on the phone along the way and she must hv been like a few feet away from me…
I doubt she will ever read this(my blog is not that popular). But I might as well say it here in the hope that she will bump into it… rather wait a long time to again see her and not say anything. Well. all I wanted to tell her was… “I’m sorry, I wish I had not said what I said but I know that I cant take it back now but hv ever since regretted saying it. I wish things could go back to a few days before our last phone call but I know its too much to ask for…”
PS: What I said was nothing abusive or not said in any form of fury…
9 Responses to “Exorcising My Demons…”
losing friends is horrible.. guess its a lesson but sorry you had to learn it the hard way..
Its not about losing friends… neither of us said anything like “I never want to see u again” nor was anything like that implied… I guess its very complicated…
I can understand having lost _very_ close friends
But if you want to apologise, don’t wait until you bump into her again. Make the first move and go ahead and apologise. It’ll be much much better!
‘Its not about losing friends… neither of us said anything like “I never want to see u again” nor was anything like that implied…’
Then the most appropriate way of patching up is to call her instead of waiting to meet her again. When you can apologise through this blog, why not through phone or meet her personally and apologise!!!
Hope you both get in touch very soon…
Maybe the next time you meet her you should make a conscious effort to speak to her. Then she will understand that you are in a way trying to make up for what happened. But if she doesn’t respect it or appreciate it, then I guess you can’t do anyhting about it but let it go.
It has happened to me too, I have tried very hard to get back to being ‘good friends’ with a friend of mine. I really dont know what I did or when we actually ‘fell out’. But she has not responded the way I expected her to. I am actually still trying coz I remember all the good times we had, but if she isn’t interested I can’t quite do anything about it but mope. (or move on)
(or move on)
I had and frankly it was getting easier coz lot of other things came about and kept me busy(you can mourn only for so long…) but then this happened and the wounds get fresh again.
I guess a part of me was really hoping to never meet her again
… and a part of me was dying to… 
I hv gone
for sure
Haas,
n worth it. 
You know how sometimes in ur life the time n the thoughts that u spend on some people are jus not worth it. This is just one of those times and she is just one of those people. I may not know the exact conversation that happened during your last phone call, but just wanted to tell u that u and ur precious thoughts deserve some 1 more special
I’ve recently done something like this - said and did something I regret and it cost me a relationship. But you have to learn from your mistakes…maybe in time there can be forgiveness. Who knows?
Swetha,
I hv not idea what to say… but I guess the heart and the mind are on two frequencies with this one. The mind keeps telling me not to go there again
and my heart just doesnt quit 
I guess I will take a few weeks to get over it… but I will get what my mind wants… let my heart rule for a while
Care to comment?