There is no perfect solution but communication always helps.

Revisiting this line of yours – “We all choose our scales to measure people but what if our scales are flawed. What if we are too worried about other things that we think are important that we forget the things that are actually important.” ,it ends with a what-if, there can always be a counter situation to this as to “what-if not”.

I agree with everything u say, but what if you had never known from anyone how much you meant to your friend, You would have continued to stay with your own perception for the rest of your life. So, i personally feel that most of the times its important in any relationship(friend,parent or spouse) to tell that someone how much they mean to you.